{guest post: bring joy}

"bring joy" by dylan mullen

July 2011 to July 2012 was the best and worst year of my life.  I learned more about myself than ever before, and more importantly I realized what kind of person I want to be.

I lost a family member during those 12 months that I haven't gotten back.  They didn't die, but they are no longer apart of my life and it has changed the family I've always knew.  Their absence is partly by my choice…. but mostly theirs.

I think the most important thing I learned last year, and that I hope to teach others around me, is that you have a choice in life.

You have the choice to surround yourself with people who lift you higher and bring you joy. Or you can surround yourself with people who bring you down.

You have a choice.

The best part of my life last year was studying abroad.  I met the most incredible people.   Last Friday night I had some friends over my apartment for a get-together and a new friend from class stopped by.  He asked who everyone was, and as I looked around the room I started to smile. "Actually, everyone here I met abroad…. (with the exception of one) I met them all a year ago and now they're my best friends."

I have chosen to keep them in my life because of what they bring me.  They bring laughter, friendship, honesty, compassion…the list goes on and on. 

I have kept them in my life because they bring me joy and lift me higher. 

The hardest choice I have had to make is eliminating from my life those who bring me down.  It is rough.  It is sad.  It is scary.

It has made me stronger.  

It was very difficult for me to accept someone not wanting me in their life.  People don't leave my life very often, so when they do it definitely hurts.  I also felt very self-conscious and obsessed over what I did wrong.  My mom gave it to me straight one day.  It was probably as hard  for her to tell me as it was for me it hear.  She said, "____ for some reason or another doesn't want anything to do with you. I know it hurts and it makes you sad, but you need to do what's best for you.  You can't sit around waiting for them to come back.  Focus on the good."

By no means am I saying unfriend anyone who insults you or makes you angry.  I'm talking people who have chosen to not want you in THEIR life.  This is what happened to me.  The person I lost has made it very clear they do not want me in their life.  And after months of tears, and asking what did I do wrong? What could I have done differently?  I've let go.

Although this person once brought me joy and lifted me higher, they now just bring me down.

The family and friends I have in my life right now are amazing.  Deepening these relationships are my priority…I want to be a deliberate, intentional person.  I want to make sure I am a daughter, sister, friend, niece, granddaughter, etc, that loves immensely.

I want to bring joy and lift people higher.

Over this Thanksgiving holiday, think about this choice.  Who are you thankful for in life?  Surround yourself with these people.

I encourage you to bring joy and lift people higher, but most importantly, recognize you're worth having the same.

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Thanks Dylan!

I love guest posts. If you're interested in writing one, please contact me & we can chat.